-Ross, (HIV victim)
This is an excerpt from the novel of Mr. Louie Mar A. Gangcuangco entitled "Orosa-Nakpil, Malate", one of the most daring and most engaging novels that deals with the subject of Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) - Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS).
God taught me another lesson.
When one of my group mates in our research quitted, i wasn't scared but i felt a bit of fear when i realized that i have only less than a month to start all over again. I was with a friend then, Chenne, to bear with the problem. But I know God will never turn His back on us. We prayed and asked Him for guidance. We talked to our professor and asked him what to do. While our professor seemed to have no interest in helping us, i started to ask God to touch his heart until suddenly he told us that we should be ready of the challenges that the two of us are going to face for our thesis. We told him we are willing to do it together. Until he told us:
"gusto nyo ng topic? oh, eto topic..."
After telling us our research topic, we were so happy that he gave us a chance to do it together. Now we only have to do the first chapter overnight. I don't know why i feel so calm during the entire night with Chenne. I should've be panicking. I don't know how to do it and i was so happy that Chenne and I was able to submit the first chapter the next day. Though we only got some corrections, our professor said that he likes our introduction and that we only have to synchronize the ideas and change the theoretical framework. Thank God He gave us the wisdom, knowledge and encouragement that we need to finish it. I thank God for giving me Chenne, such a true friend.
I'm scared that one day, i would lost Chenne. Someone who understands me and knows my strengths and weaknesses. I love her as a friend. I hope that one day, when my head are full of white hairs, Chenne and I will just laugh at each other while reminiscing our younger years. But for now, i pray that we'll be able to finish our thesis first. :D
What lesson have i learned?
> That people will disappoint you but God won't. (Praise God)
> That God will never stop telling you what you SHOULD do. Nung narinig ko yung topic na binigay samin ng prof namin, sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Lord, talagang para sa akin ito and I know its from you."
> God will send angels for you. If we are only sensitive of Him, He is always with us. He is a living God. He sees us, hears us, feels our pain, anguish and prayers and most important of all, He has the right timing for everything. Medyo impatient lang ako most of the times na I feel that God is not there at all.
> Sa mga nangyari sa akin this past few days, I learned na God wants me to strengthen my faith to Him at napasakit na isipin na up to now, i'm still weak. UP TO NOW. Many times, i can't control being earthly to the point na I don't trust God's power and plans for me. I start to grumble, to complain and to ask God, "Lord, nasaan ka?" which is SO WRONG. As a Christian, I should learn to humble my self before God and to trust Him with His plans for me. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko after I realized these things.
> God wants me to "WALK THE TALK". I always tell my mom and lola to trust God's plans because He is our living God who knows everything pero i was the first one to show them that problems seem to overcome me. Baliktad na tuloy ang nangyayari, they are the ones who often tell me na to Trust God over all this problems i have in my life. "Behold, i have overcome the world." says the Lord. yan ang dapat kong tandaan.
> The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh. this is my favorite verse from the Book of Job. That Book taught me a lot of things especially nung nagkasakit ako and was diagnosed with an unknown illness na kinailangan kong magpa-biopsy but unfortunately hindi ko nagawa dahil bukod sa may kamahalan, praise God at gumaling naman sya sa inintake kong gamot. Up to now, hindi ko alam kung anong sakit ko but I know God has control of everything. And isa pang miracle at proof na God really exists in my life? whenever i'm tempted to do something, may nagmamanifest sa akin, truly God is reminding me na, "Luisa, my dearest daughter, focus on me, not to anyone else."
> God taught me na no one can ever help me except Him. One time, i was looking for this public office, Komisyon sa Wikang Filipino. I thought this person (someone i thought was special, hindi naman pala) can help me. Puro lang sya salita, hanggang sa I prayed to God,
"Lord, lead the way. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako dadalhin ng mga paa ko sa paghahanap ko ng opisinang ito."
Hanggang sa nahanap ko sya. Tsaka namang nagtxt itong taong ito. Eksaktong naitapak ko ang mga paa ko sa opisinang ito, tsaka nagtxt itong taong ito. isip isip ko nalang,
"Salamat nalang, tinuro na ni Lord." Same thing happened to me many times na i tried to cling on to other people pero wala sila nung kailangan ko nang tulong and I just thought na God is in that situation so I pray and then BOOM! Praise God! Darating ang answer tsaka namang labas nitong mga taong ito kung kelang tapos na. Pilipino nga naman, parang pelikula. dadating ang mga pulis pagkatapos ng ingkwentro sa pagitan ng bida at kontrabida tapos, yung mga nabaril na mga tauhan ng kontrabida na akala ko noo'y patay na, nahuli pa at naigapos. haizz.
Mejo magulo ang akda kong ito. kumplikado pa kasi utak ko ngayon e... daming iniisip. Siguro ang lesson ko na naman? Try to dwell your mind on things that are noble, true and right...Philippians?
haizz...i want to be a strong Christian, hindi ko alam kung paano. sobrang weak ko. pero I know God is in control of everything. Na there are things in life that better off unexplained. Why God is so GREAT, why He allows some things to happen and Why I was so Blessed that I have a living God.
Masaya akong maging bahagi ng research namin ni Chenne about sa Communication Approaches ng mga doktor sa mga HIV patients. siguradong marami akong matututunan sa panibagong kabanata ng buhay kong ito. Feeling ko kasi, may HIV ako sa pagkatao ko na nakuha ko sa mga taong dumaan sa buhay ko (nakatulong at nakasakit) at ngayong kinikilala ko na ang disease na ito sa thesis namin, gusto kong maging instrumento para mapuksa sya sa pagkatao din ng iba.
Ang masasabi ko lang, PRAISE GOD that He never left me in my journey. Gusto ko one day, makaharap ko ang aking creator face to face at maririnig ang mga katagang:
"Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Ayoko nang maabutan ang tribulation. Sana rapture palang, makasama nako.
Haizzz..dami kong gustong sabihin kasi, nagrambol tuloy ang idea dito.
To God be all the Glory!
